It just got real

You know how sometimes you look forward to (or dread) something for so long that it feels like it will always be looming somewhere out there in the future, will never be right at hand, never really occur? And then one day it sort of smacks you in the forehead and announces, "Hello, I'm here! I'm happening!"?

I'm taking Step 1 of the medical licensing boards on June 21. My last class of the pre-clinical years (the last class before my intense month of studying for the boards) starts on Monday.

Tay and I are getting married on June 26. Invitations go out tomorrow.

Oh yeah, things just got real.

If you're like me, you think you'll have everything all worked out by the time that the thing you're anticipating actually rolls around; you think you'll have completely reviewed and re-mastered all of microbiology and pharmacology as sort of a pre-study before the real boards-studying commences, and that you'll have your ceremony all written and your abs all flattened long before the Big Day. Except then you look up and realize that your second year of med school wraps up in less than a month and your wedding dress has arrived at the salon and is awaiting its first fitting. And suddenly, these two huge events are right here, right about to happen. And it's a crazy, overwhelming feeling.

Just to be clear, I am thrilled out of my mind to be marrying Tay in less than two months. It's just that there are still many details I hope to attend to, putting the finishing touches on our ceremony and celebration. I'm also thrilled out of my mind to be finishing this year of school and moving on to clinical rotations. But Step 1 of the boards is the most important test that I will ever take (Literally. This puppy tests the entire body of knowledge from the first two years of medical training, and my score will be the most important factor in determining the strength of my candidacy for residency.) and the time remaining just doesn't seem like a fraction of what I need to tackle the entire mountain range of material, of which it currently feels like I know nothing.

But here we are. Less than two months left. It's time to stop thinking (lamenting overambitious study schedules that were left in the dust months ago and worrying about, well, all of this) and start doing. Do what I can each day and then go to bed with a clear mind so I can be well-rested enough to do what I can the next. Because the boards and our wedding are here. They're real and they are happening.

And I will be ready.