. . . reading tons of books, both for my humanities project and for pleasure
. . . waking up (eventually) without an alarm
. . . learning to golf, with a lesson and several trips to the driving range each week. I can even play 9 holes now!
. . . traveling to CA, upstate NY, VT, CT, and even just exploring other towns on Long Island for a change of scenery and a yummy dinner
. . . sailing in a few races on the Great South Bay with my dad
. . . lots of wedding planning, including hiring a florist and an officiant and, most importantly, finding my wedding dress!
. . . spending tons of quality time with Mom, Dad, Bijou, and Tay
. . . being a bridesmaid in my cousin Kate's wedding
. . . rearranging the bedroom just for something new and in celebration of the fact that this is the first time in 9 years that I am spending more than one year in the same apartment
. . . seeing more movies in the theater than I have seen in the past year
. . . cleaning the apartment from top to bottom and organizing it (even the hall closet!)
. . . writing in the fancy journal I bought in Iowa while sitting out on the patio in the afternoon sun
. . . over.
Today was the first day of my second year of medical school. I have been juggling a huge mix of emotions, but I am back in action and embracing the coming year with the most determined and optimistic outlook I can muster. Ready, set, go! . . . study microbiology.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Photos
Just to complicate things a bit, I now have another website to which I'd like to direct your attention. It's my personal site on Shutterfly, where I can share all of my pictures. Use this link to check out the album from my recent cruise and visit to LA. I'll be adding even more pictures shortly. (You will be able to view all of my albums at this site.)
http://beck28pics.shutterfly.com/
Here's a teaser to pique your interest:
http://beck28pics.shutterfly.com/
Here's a teaser to pique your interest:
Monday, June 15, 2009
Done and done!
When I was ten years old, I did a report for school on what I wanted to be when I grew up. I had to research the profession and come in dressed for the role. So did I grab a toy stethoscope and white jacket and tell my fellow fourth-graders about my plans to study the inner workings of the human body? Not even close. I carefully donned my favorite outfit (so as to be both comfortable and chic) and described my future as a writer. Perhaps that is why, two days after taking my last final exam of my first year of medical school, I found myself in Iowa City for the Iowa Summer Writing Festival.
I spent this past weekend in Iowa to participate in a workshop entitled "Writing Out Loud," which focused on techniques to make prose writing sing. I hoped it would help me dive back into writing as I begin work on my MD with Recognition project and sharpen my rusty skills.
The entire experience was incredible. I spent a total of eight hours (split up into two-hour sessions) in the workshop, where I learned techniques to develop the style of my writing and exercises to help get my thoughts on the page and to play around with phrasing. The workshop was small; three other women participated, each of whom brought a different background and writing goals. We each shared a piece of our work and then listened to the others and the instructor describe their experiences reading the work and the images and emotions it evoked in them.
During my free time, I explored the adorable downtown portion of Iowa City. It had an unmistakable college-town feel, with numerous delicious eateries, a variety of boutiques, at least four bookstores, and a touch of a hippie vibe. My hotel was situated right on the Iowa River; the immaculate buildings of the university sat two blocks uphill, beyond which sprawled the cultural section of the city. Much to my liking, it was incredibly clean, safe, and walkable.
It may seem strange that I am focusing more on a writing workshop than on finishing my first year of medical school. In truth, the end of the first semester of school felt far more climactic than the end of the year. The question of "Can I actually do this?" hovered throughout the fall, and the emphatic "Yes!" at the culmination brought with it a visceral exhilaration. Having proven to myself that I deserved my spot in the class, I spent the second semester pushing myself to do as well as possible in challenging classes, and by the end I simply felt exhausted and eager to reacquaint myself with the other topics and areas of life that have been gathering dust.
I was actually quite nervous about coming to Iowa. The University of Iowa has an incredibly strong and well-known writing program, and, while I desperately wanted to pursue some formal instruction in writing, I grappled with whether or not I was a good enough writer to even think of doing such a thing. (Luckily, the summer festival only requires enthusiasm and a credit card; no harrowing application process was involved!) As soon as I stepped into the lecture hall for orientation on the first day, however, I felt incredibly calm and completely at home, and knew that I belonged in this setting.
I love medicine, and I am excited to make it my life's work, but I also love to write. Here, too, is a difference between my first and second semesters: during the former, I quashed all other thoughts and interests because I was terrified that if I let my focus stray from science, I would be unable succeed - or even survive - academically. This spring, however, I began to rearrange my mind a bit and allowed some space for other things, realizing that instead of detracting from my medical studies, they can actually augment them. And so, I can finally shed the notion that my two goals are mutually exclusive and embrace both of them: I want to be a doctor. I also want to be a writer.
As I walked to my Sunday morning workshop, so thrilled to be immersed studying the stringing together of carefully selected words and to be in the company of others who love it as much as I do, I caught sight of my reflection in a row of windows and a thought popped into my head: I have become who I wanted to be.
I spent this past weekend in Iowa to participate in a workshop entitled "Writing Out Loud," which focused on techniques to make prose writing sing. I hoped it would help me dive back into writing as I begin work on my MD with Recognition project and sharpen my rusty skills.
The entire experience was incredible. I spent a total of eight hours (split up into two-hour sessions) in the workshop, where I learned techniques to develop the style of my writing and exercises to help get my thoughts on the page and to play around with phrasing. The workshop was small; three other women participated, each of whom brought a different background and writing goals. We each shared a piece of our work and then listened to the others and the instructor describe their experiences reading the work and the images and emotions it evoked in them.
During my free time, I explored the adorable downtown portion of Iowa City. It had an unmistakable college-town feel, with numerous delicious eateries, a variety of boutiques, at least four bookstores, and a touch of a hippie vibe. My hotel was situated right on the Iowa River; the immaculate buildings of the university sat two blocks uphill, beyond which sprawled the cultural section of the city. Much to my liking, it was incredibly clean, safe, and walkable.
It may seem strange that I am focusing more on a writing workshop than on finishing my first year of medical school. In truth, the end of the first semester of school felt far more climactic than the end of the year. The question of "Can I actually do this?" hovered throughout the fall, and the emphatic "Yes!" at the culmination brought with it a visceral exhilaration. Having proven to myself that I deserved my spot in the class, I spent the second semester pushing myself to do as well as possible in challenging classes, and by the end I simply felt exhausted and eager to reacquaint myself with the other topics and areas of life that have been gathering dust.
I was actually quite nervous about coming to Iowa. The University of Iowa has an incredibly strong and well-known writing program, and, while I desperately wanted to pursue some formal instruction in writing, I grappled with whether or not I was a good enough writer to even think of doing such a thing. (Luckily, the summer festival only requires enthusiasm and a credit card; no harrowing application process was involved!) As soon as I stepped into the lecture hall for orientation on the first day, however, I felt incredibly calm and completely at home, and knew that I belonged in this setting.
I love medicine, and I am excited to make it my life's work, but I also love to write. Here, too, is a difference between my first and second semesters: during the former, I quashed all other thoughts and interests because I was terrified that if I let my focus stray from science, I would be unable succeed - or even survive - academically. This spring, however, I began to rearrange my mind a bit and allowed some space for other things, realizing that instead of detracting from my medical studies, they can actually augment them. And so, I can finally shed the notion that my two goals are mutually exclusive and embrace both of them: I want to be a doctor. I also want to be a writer.
As I walked to my Sunday morning workshop, so thrilled to be immersed studying the stringing together of carefully selected words and to be in the company of others who love it as much as I do, I caught sight of my reflection in a row of windows and a thought popped into my head: I have become who I wanted to be.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
We set a date!
Tay and I spent Memorial Day weekend in Vermont with my parents scouting out wedding locations.
Success!
The big day will be June 26, 2010. We will be married in Vermont at Sugarbush, where my family has skied for about twenty years, and where Tay proposed. The date works well with my school schedule, and it is also our nine years and eleven months anniversary.
Thus, I will soon be starting another website. :)
Success!
The big day will be June 26, 2010. We will be married in Vermont at Sugarbush, where my family has skied for about twenty years, and where Tay proposed. The date works well with my school schedule, and it is also our nine years and eleven months anniversary.
Thus, I will soon be starting another website. :)
Summer Plans - Take II
I have decided that LA is a no-go this summer. Tough decision, but I'm feeling good about it.
In a [rather large] nutshell, here is the situation:
A few months ago, I had met with one of the deans to learn more about Stony Brook's MD with Recognition program, through which students can complete a project (six months' worth of work taking place over the first summer and then during the third and fourth years) in either research or the humanities, for which they receive funding and then recognition at graduation. I left the meeting with the understanding that I could do a humanities project in addition to my LA research project. I designed a project, found two mentors, was accepted, and also was awarded the Berken Fellowship, which is given to one student each year who is pursuing a project in the humanities. (It will be mentioned at graduation and during my fourth year I will present my project at a dinner with the family who funds this award.) This was the project that I had alluded to several posts ago. Yay! But not so fast....
Then I was told that I could not accept two sources of funding, even though they were for completely separate things. My ability to complete both a full-time research job and ample work on the humanities project was also called into question. Frustrated, I initially resolved to forego one source of funding and do a great job on both. Then, as my stress level rose rapidly, I realized that, while I could most likely do both, I would have little time left over for relaxing, spending time with my family and friends, planning the wedding (more to come on that topic but I feel it deserves a post of its own).... After much discussion, weighing of priorities, and meditation, I opted to bow out of the LA program, pursue my humanities project, and use the rest of my time this summer to recuperate from first year.
So what is this project that made me choose lovely suburban South Setauket over glamorous LA? I will be composing a series of short stories inspired by my experiences during medical school. The collection will include one story to represent each of the first two years, and then one for each of the main clinical rotations that I complete during third year. In preparation, I will be attending a writing workshop (Iowa Summer Writing Festival) and reading numerous works written by physicians during their training. I am intimidated, hoping I can actually accomplish what I proposed, but I'm so excited to actively pursue writing, which has long been a love of mine but has consistently taken a backseat to biochemistry and other less creative pursuits.
In a [rather large] nutshell, here is the situation:
A few months ago, I had met with one of the deans to learn more about Stony Brook's MD with Recognition program, through which students can complete a project (six months' worth of work taking place over the first summer and then during the third and fourth years) in either research or the humanities, for which they receive funding and then recognition at graduation. I left the meeting with the understanding that I could do a humanities project in addition to my LA research project. I designed a project, found two mentors, was accepted, and also was awarded the Berken Fellowship, which is given to one student each year who is pursuing a project in the humanities. (It will be mentioned at graduation and during my fourth year I will present my project at a dinner with the family who funds this award.) This was the project that I had alluded to several posts ago. Yay! But not so fast....
Then I was told that I could not accept two sources of funding, even though they were for completely separate things. My ability to complete both a full-time research job and ample work on the humanities project was also called into question. Frustrated, I initially resolved to forego one source of funding and do a great job on both. Then, as my stress level rose rapidly, I realized that, while I could most likely do both, I would have little time left over for relaxing, spending time with my family and friends, planning the wedding (more to come on that topic but I feel it deserves a post of its own).... After much discussion, weighing of priorities, and meditation, I opted to bow out of the LA program, pursue my humanities project, and use the rest of my time this summer to recuperate from first year.
So what is this project that made me choose lovely suburban South Setauket over glamorous LA? I will be composing a series of short stories inspired by my experiences during medical school. The collection will include one story to represent each of the first two years, and then one for each of the main clinical rotations that I complete during third year. In preparation, I will be attending a writing workshop (Iowa Summer Writing Festival) and reading numerous works written by physicians during their training. I am intimidated, hoping I can actually accomplish what I proposed, but I'm so excited to actively pursue writing, which has long been a love of mine but has consistently taken a backseat to biochemistry and other less creative pursuits.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Baby!
The baby arrived!!
At 12:29am on April 26, my patient's husband called me and told me to come quickly; she was about to deliver and they had just remembered to call me! I got ready and left home in record time. Tay dropped me off at the hospital and I raced to my locker to grab my white coat, then hurried to labor & delivery (after having to ask several maintenance workers where it was, since I have spent little time in the actual hospital thus far). I walked into the room as the midwife was encouraging Lisa to push. The contraction subsided, but on the very next one, at 1:01am, she gave birth to her son, Tanner.
The birth was the most amazing thing I have ever seen, and was rendered even more incredible by the fact that I thought I knew what to expect and was still utterly awestruck. The last scene in the movie "The Miracle of Life" has been burned in my mind since I witnessed it, horrified, in 8th-grade health class. But in real life, childbirth is beautiful and magical. As I watched Lisa's husband huddle over her and the new little being who laid on her chest, naked and still attached to her via umbilical cord, I struggled to cement a huge grin on my face in order to keep back my tears.
I watched the cutting of the cord, the delivery of the placenta, and the drops of silver nitrate being placed in little Tanner's eyes. Then, less than a half hour after he had entered this world, his father handed him to me! I am so touched that these folks were kind enough to not only let me accompany them on prenatal visits and welcome me at the birth, but to then hand me their new child, take pictures of me holding him, and send them to me!
At 12:29am on April 26, my patient's husband called me and told me to come quickly; she was about to deliver and they had just remembered to call me! I got ready and left home in record time. Tay dropped me off at the hospital and I raced to my locker to grab my white coat, then hurried to labor & delivery (after having to ask several maintenance workers where it was, since I have spent little time in the actual hospital thus far). I walked into the room as the midwife was encouraging Lisa to push. The contraction subsided, but on the very next one, at 1:01am, she gave birth to her son, Tanner.
The birth was the most amazing thing I have ever seen, and was rendered even more incredible by the fact that I thought I knew what to expect and was still utterly awestruck. The last scene in the movie "The Miracle of Life" has been burned in my mind since I witnessed it, horrified, in 8th-grade health class. But in real life, childbirth is beautiful and magical. As I watched Lisa's husband huddle over her and the new little being who laid on her chest, naked and still attached to her via umbilical cord, I struggled to cement a huge grin on my face in order to keep back my tears.
I watched the cutting of the cord, the delivery of the placenta, and the drops of silver nitrate being placed in little Tanner's eyes. Then, less than a half hour after he had entered this world, his father handed him to me! I am so touched that these folks were kind enough to not only let me accompany them on prenatal visits and welcome me at the birth, but to then hand me their new child, take pictures of me holding him, and send them to me!
The chief of ob-gyn at Stony Brook told me the other day that he has never forgotten his first birth. I can't even begin to count how many times I have already replayed this most sacred of scenes in my mind, as I'm sure I will for years to come.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Waiting
Remember the pregnant patient who I have been following through a program for students interested in ob/gyn? She is due tomorrow!! I have my cell phone on at all times. I can't believe how on edge I feel; every time the phone rings I think, "This is it! Is this it? Oh, it's so-and-so. This isn't it." I can't imagine how she must feel! This is her second child, so I was thinking perhaps she would deliver a bit early, but it is not looking that way. I really hope that it doesn't happen in the middle of the night, and I especially hope it doesn't happen right before or during my half-marathon in NYC on Sunday. I would skip the race to see the birth, but once I'm in the city running, I can't really rush back!
Anyway, to tide us all over in this suspenseful time, here are some pictures from my very short but
incredibly relaxing spring break trip to California:
Monterey
Big Sur
(me, Beth, Richa, & Vicky)
View from restaurant in Big Sur
Anyway, to tide us all over in this suspenseful time, here are some pictures from my very short but
incredibly relaxing spring break trip to California:Monterey
Big Sur
(me, Beth, Richa, & Vicky)
View from restaurant in Big Sur
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